Where Do They Flee?

It has always been my belief that one is never too old or too retired or too sick or any other 'too' circustance to stop dreaming of greatness or of imagining the new and exciting circumstances which might take you suddenly unaware to places beyond the wildest dreams or imaginings.  Always, always, I beieved this.

But now, after decades of wonderful dreams and imaginings, I find myself wondering where this manifestation of being truly alive has wondered off to! 

Having spent some time thinking about what might be the secret destination of great dreams and imaginings, it just seems to me.....that....

• As we mature, we settle more for the conventional...it is easier, less stress inducing, more compliant with those around us.
• Maturity also brings a certain amount of satisfaction with what we have accomplished and we realize that there is no one else to please or indulge.
• We grow tired...tired physically and 'tired of'

I'm 'tired of' people who have failed to ENJOY my excitement and enthusiasm.  And I'm 'tired of' competition and territorial people...too insecure to make a place for my gifts and talents.  And I'd rather just not dream big enough for it to spill from my soul.  

More and more I become a person with secret desires and hopes and dreams.  

And I am cautious!  People who have never enjoyed the risk of dreaming and imagining are ready to steal the joy from others.  Perhaps they inherited a business, never having imagined the concepts they presently enjoy by default.  Perhaps they are dulled by the convention of the community around them...or by the pain of past failures.

Actually, we just don't know what brings another to lack the skills of support, encouragement, and the openness of making a place for someone new.

So, it is not any force of negativity that really holds me at bay more often now, but my own fatigue.  And I must find for myself the enhancements that feed the mind, the soul, my very life.  I must make decisions that promote growth and further understanding

And I must avoid the pitfalls of feeling that I am old.  What is old?  A number?  An attitude?  A frame of reference?  

So, I come to the simple conclusion that dreams and imaginings did not abandon me, but I, myself, laid them down somewhere and walked away for a rest.  A time to refresh and determine new life in a unique decade of life.  I'm coming back...a very different person than when I laid it down for a season.  

In fact, I have become a seasonal person in much more significant ways than the changing of my closet 3 times a year!  Life is all about 'seasons' now.  Some I like and some I don't...but it is a gift of nature that we live in circles and cycles of seasons...our favorites come again, and again.  

And there are supportive, encouraging people in my life....they make a much smaller circle of influence than in past decades...caution has led to a tighter boundary than before.  But the safe place within the boundaries I have set is a beautiful place.  I only hope I reciprocate in a genuinely helpfully way.

It is the Autumn of my life and will never again be Spring.  But on this mid-Septmber day, Spring arose in me...energizing me with the conviction that there is more and will be more.  My dreams have yet a place in my corner of the world.  

I will get up and do the work of dreaming...do the sweet privilege of imagining.  As long as breath comes and brain cells 'synapse' I will keep walking toward a beautiful sunset.