Wanna' get in on the best in life.....

 Psalm 37:4 

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Sit down or hold on...I am left cold, even dispirited by these words from the Bible.

If your life is squeaky clean; uninterrupted by ongoing challenges; experiencing the frequent lack of success in your BEST efforts; or just worn out from trying…Well, this post is NOT for you.  It’s for us…who have experienced the emptiness of unanswered dreams and plans.

At this point in my life, I really don't feel very deserving or innocent or clean...too much muddy waters of life have passed my way...washing over me, leaving me stained and gritty.  I feel I'm not the faith person I used to be.  But there was a time when I was deeply faithful and spiritual; involved in all activities of my church; even teaching and speaking.  

Now, let's  start over...because even in the present state of deep concern, I do know some of those words are not true, but emotional fatigue.  Fatigue from a present circumstance that I will adjust to and just go on.  The deeper, richer truth is that... The blood of Jesus has made me clean, new and richly blessed every morning!

Because every loss or disappointment or sorrow during that time (and there were many) was followed by the opportunity to witness the way my God filled in the emptiness and opened new doors through adversity.  There was victory!

However, even while walking in this victorious way, I never believed the words above.  I have always known that something was lost in translation (after translations after translations) of scripture.  Perhaps too many shortcuts?  Why am I in financial stress after working all my life?  Why do banks take advantage of people because they are struggling?  Why does the house not sell?  Why do I have no partner to share the sunshine and the burdens with?  On and on...how good I can be at the pity parties!  Even now, just days after beginning this post, I laugh at myself and those emotional thoughts.  But my doubt in the truth of the Psalmist's words continues...why he was likely dirty and gritty while composing those words!

Let’s examine this verse together.  Take for example the loss of a husband at the age of 39.  (This is a loss already faced and reconciled...just using as an example)  Lets' measure that against the two most common interpretations of Psalm 37:4.

^^^^^^^^^^^For brevity, loosely stated ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Interpretation 1:  If one delights himself in the Lord - he receives, in return, what he wants most.

I did everything I knew to be pleasing to God as I watched and prayed for a Godly husband's life...I didn't get what I wanted at all!

Interpretation 2:  If one delights himself in the Lord - he gets, in return, God's desires placed into his heart.  (This assumes that one will be pleased with whatever God decides to tell one to desire.  I’m not that Holy…neither were any of those called by God for special assignments in scripture!)  Hummm.

I'm afraid I have to tell you that God never did put in my heart the desire to watch this good man die; or to pick up the pieces and start over all alone.                                                                                                                                                                                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

There just isn't a way to explain my situation during the 39th year of my life with the words of Psalm 37:4. Did God deceive?  Did he mislead so I would follow?  Where was I when he passed out the desires of women's hearts?

Four children prayed for:  none came.  Same song; second verse.

Daddy left our home and suddenly remarried, but I prayed he would come back.  Same song; third verse.

A relative disappeared and a community prayed for his return as my mother’s life fell apart at the loss of her baby brother…dry bones in the desert...a homicide.  Same song, fourth verse.

There are many other verses!  For years the song never ended.  Yet through all the years of my life, I continued to experience the wonder of a victorious life.  Adversity always brought new direction, though an abiding sense of intimate loss persisted.

Psalm 37:4 continued to haunt me for all those years.  I tried to talk about it with friends, but they still had their husbands and they had children...and even grandkids.  They could not understand my concern for the truth I failed to glean from those words of the Psalm.  Why was this one deception allowed to remain in scripture?  Why didn't a scholar somewhere correct it?

Since then, I’ve spent some considerable time thinking and listening.  Though I did not believe them, the words touched me deeply…there had to be something amiss for the deep yearning they brought me.  I wanted whatever they were intended to mean.  These feelings and the yearning grew stronger as I matured.  I spent time seeking interpretations in concordances and minister's notes online.  I read other scriptures....I looked far and wide for an answer.

And then, after all the years of seeking, suddenly I found it…not in a highly respected ‘translation’, but in one of those modern language versions, some consider a ‘paraphrase.’  But I did not and do not consider The Message as such.  I have found it deeply moving as a reading Bible and I have read the story of how it was developed and tested.  It makes an interesting read if you are interested.  It was during a relaxed read with no particular direction...but I happened to look up this Psalm again.  Oh, my!  It just jumped off the page at me!  How exciting and a sudden sense of peace about it...I was NOT left out of this promise!

And here it is…!

“Keep company with God, get in on the best”

Oh, my goodness…it’s so simple!  So direct!  So easy to discern in one’s life!  No need for human interpretation.  It’s just so elementary!  It does not judge me.  Neither does it condemn me!  Nor does it expect me to be the best pray-er, teacher, church member, etc. to receive “the best.”  The secret lies in the word delight...as I will address below.

Oh, the profoundness of getting the best.  Being invited to the most intimate, most ‘inside’ contact…going into the Holy places of God’s heart.  Belonging to God's golf club without any dues.  Joining the prestigious planning committes in God's gift of free choice in our life!  Discerning HIS presence…touching his compassion..touching grace.  Not just anybody can get in…only those who desire to enter will get in, though all are invited.  Those who delight to be within his inner circle…diving into the deep waters of his heart…floating on the surface of holy waters and diving into the richness of color and awe-inspiring stalagmite-like formations in the depths of that water as his Love is defined and formed and painted by his presence.  Delight is fluid and free.  But truth is constant, unwavering…We who delight in his presence get in on the best...and this is HIS promise of truth.

Just BE and walk with God.  No expectations of holiness to qualify.  God knows we will become holy by accepting his invitation to the walk.  No fee to pay; no number card pinned to my walking shorts.  No awards that distinguish the level of winning.  I’m a winner every day because HE made it so!  I can still be human and seek the things I want.  It is not an invitation to send God an “I want; I need” list.  And He doesn’t tell me what to want.  He doesn’t need to be instructed in what to do for me.  In our walk God just immerses me with himself…dwelling within, around, over, under, upon with the Spirit that is only HIM!

This is why, I could moan in the most dreadful agony as I watched a husband suffer, and at the same time find JOY in the depth of our intimate communion with God as we were drawn from that era's agony to walk with HIM in hospitals, an ambulance ride, side-by-side in bed nightly calling on HIS salvation and healing.  HIS presence is why I could smile through the tears at the memorial service.

HIS presence…keeping His company…is why the spiritual blessings were always the best in every sorrowful turn and in every nook and cranny of my flawed soul and life.

There is no empty promise in Psalm 37:4. Perhaps it’s not a promise at all!  I now see it as a P.A.T.H. An invitation in a gold-lined envelope to join the walk on the Holy path.

God and me.  We, just walking.  Talking.  Me, trying to be a good human.  He, always GOD!  SOVERIGN! S.O.V.E.R.I.G.N.!  Forever and ever.

And I got in on the best!  Psalm 37:4

Amen!