OK, Everybody, Give me an....

F!(F)   I!(I)   R!(R)   S!(S)  T!(T)  S!(S)   

Wh'da'ya'got? 

F.I.R.S.T.S! 

What?! 

F.I.R.S.T.S!

Louder!

F.I.R.S.T.S!

  YEA!!! 

(Drum rolls and teens in cute outfits jump up and down.)

......................................................................................................

A friend and I were discussing the matter of 'firsts,' in regard to friendship.  I began to think...uh huh!  Well, of course; I'm a writer!  How could I possibly pass up an opportunity to make this into a study of parts of speech, synonyms and antonyms, tenses, sentence structure, and feelings.

First, I define 'first'.  (Pardon that poor sentence)...to put it bluntly and plainly....A selfish, lonely place.  Or an honored, rewarding place.

The difference?  Likely the difference resides in the sense of humility and confidence of the recipients.  

But then there are the 'firsts' which are a matter of the chronology of events...such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.  Do you remember where your first wedding anniversary dinner was?  I remember...A night on the town in San Antonio, TX...dinner at the rotating Space Needle restaurant, followed by the opening night of 'Hello Dolly.'  I wore a long dress; he wore a suit.  Then a pretty motel room...such a splurge!  A most thrilling night spent by two lovers with hormones raging and pockets emptied by the cost the whole one night affair.  And a lasting memory.  First memories are so very special.  And it's just impossible to forget them.

Remember the first time you made love?  In the back seat of a car after a dance...oh! You naughty thing!  Only in a motel bed and after the wedding ceremony for most of my friends and me.  Now there's a build up to a really special (S.P.E.C.I.A.L.) once-upon-a-time first event!  Talk about a.n.t.i.c.i.p.a.t.i.o.n!  Sparks flew; bells rang; pledges of love and giggles!  Bigger than drum rolls at the ballgame.  Gee, I can still blush about that one.

So, why does this matter anyway?  

Because preserving the memories and positioning the pedestal under each 'first' is a way we honor what we count as precious.  It partly defines us, our friendships and relationships, our perceptions.  We are so very much what we remember.

Personal history is important...and inspiring by its contents, fluidity, spontaneity, and genuinness.  One of the most difficult things about death and divorce is the emptying of the vault of memories...what is a memory if sharing has ceased?  Where the laughter or tears that accompany, "Remember when we....."  Where the strength for facing life's challenges without a shared recall as a couple or a family or close friends... if no shared memories of having survived that which previously could have crushed the spirit or taken life itself?  Where the victory dances?  Where the wails of sorrow or shouts of joy?  Alone, it pales.

LIfe is meant to be shared.  Share it.  Fear not.  We're equipped with potential for communications beyond just the direct voice-to-ear exchanges.  Find the secret signals, the flirty tilt of heads and covert smiles and accidental touches.  The nuances of a baby's many ways to cry or goo.  The sounds from a playground with its audible signals in playful screaming or suspicious silence.  The swaggered or metered steps of a man in cowboy boots.  The closed or open door of a teenager's room.  A husband's expressions of responsiblity fatigue or expressed joy in protecting.

Life is full of cheerleader-worthy events.

But most  of all...protect and cherish your Memories.

OK Everybody...

Give me an M!.....

Louder ......

M!