...What Was That All About?!

My wonderful, loving husband died unexpectedly and suddenly on Sunday, March 7th.  We had been married "happily ever after" for 36 days, separated for 9 years before, and married for 23 years before that.  All-in-all our marriage was very good; confusing; pressured by the long travels for his job; and in its ending was truly full-circle and joyous for both of us.  

I find people voicing, "What was that all about?" in reference to all the excitement; hope for the reconciliation of other relationships, and renewed belief in God's calling to reconciliation.  (A big topic in his Holy Word)

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Thirty-plus years before I experienced the death of another loving mate after a long battle for his life.  At long last, we had the opportunity for an experimental transplant to replace his dying liver.  All looked very good.  He went back to school, planning a new vocation/career and arose everyday rejoicing to be alive.  We made the rounds of a large city's television stations for interviews, made guest appearances, witnessed of God's power to heal and answer prayer...and then he died (though not so quickly). The medication which saved his liver from rejection gave him lymphoma.  After a sweet, grieving family gave him their daughter's precious and very valuable liver, he just died in the span of 30 days.  People then asked the question, "What was that all about?"

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May I speak frankly?!  God does what he jolly-well pleases and if you are going to serve him - you better just accept that!

Between God and me, stuff is ok.  I get a lot more than I can tell you and I never stop thanking him that my husband and I DID INDEED reconcile and live happily ever after. 

The Love of my life is gone; I'm still here; and I did not volunteer to do this again.

And so in the midst of my great sorrow and grief, the only thing I do BELIEVE right now is that those 36 days of marriage and the 6 weeks of engagement before are worth every day I have ever lived on this earth!  I would do it all over again.  But that's not possible.  So I just cry a little; hurt all over like a train hit me; and pray, pray, pray.

What was that all about?  Restoring to my life the gift of Love unlike any I have ever known.  God works in the quality business.  Some experiences are worth more in 36 days than others in a span of decades or centuries.  I'm really happy I caught the short end on this journey!

I am grateful...eternally grateful to my God.