I can 'accept' 'except' for this...

Well, in my observance, mature life has suddenly become an expected act of acceptance...the culture seems to want to define me now.    

I'm old; accept it.  I get tired; accept it.  My career, which defined so much of me, is over; accept it.  Parts of my body droop; accept it.  I forget things; accept it. And on and on....

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ac·cept·ance  əkˈseptəns/

noun

 1.  the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.  (old age is 'offered?'  Hey, I missed the 'decine' line!)

 2.  the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.  (Senior Citizens Unite?)

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You know, I could accept all of that....except it doesn't describe me accurately, and I won't bow to it!

I take exception to many of the expectations of old age.  I'm the same inside...passionate, curious, intelligent, a dreamer, sensual, loving, forgiving, excited about things, seeking what to do next, wanting to move on with life....not much has changed inside.

My life is still filled with the desires of youth...and the unfulfilled; the yet-to-be-accomplished dreams of youth; the quest to learn new truths and new experiences of life; I'm still driven by the desire to make some mark on life; I still need to know I make the lives of others better; I'm still thrilled by the joy of a man looking into my eyes before he kisses me;  Hugs still transfer strength between me and another; I'm still renewed by making mad, passionate love; the search for significance still evades/ empowers/ evades/ empowers;  I haven't changed much at all!

My life was lived with the end in mind...retirement plans faithfully made and accomplished;  an effort made to avoid some of the pitfalls of life that might result in regrets.  There has always been an awareness that the last decade or so should be wonderful...with happy memories and many friends to share them with.  And I'm expectantly looking for it.  

The only preparation I failed to make was the understanding that not everyone I met would want to see my dreams come true.  Little did I know of the selfishness of abandonment...the ignorance of people who did not accept the call to higher thoughts and motives.  I knew not how to defend myself from their ways.  But the love planted in my heart by a bigger, stronger LOVE that runs this world saw me through.  Love is the only power we possess in the human experience, and the only true gift of importance.  Love conquers all failure and sorrow.

O, Maturity, deny me nothing; do not fail me now!  I have lived in goodness, as best I could, seeking these last wonderful years.  I believe I do the contributing work of human effort.  I have believed the promises you have written on my heart; the affirmations that sealed my hopes.  I believe in a power greater than mine and that it holds my future.  It is a loving, caring power circling the Universe constantly.  Come my way...bring fulfilling miracles and sustaining hope.  My arms are open to receive!  Let it rain!

I am defined by my love: that which I receive and that which I give, not by my culture.  Now I can accept that!  

 June 9, 2016