Hip Senior Date Search

(Stock photo - ID unknown)

As my close friends know, I get really lonely this time of year. So in December I usually pay the 30 bucks to be on a dating site...I chose one of the popular dating sites from the past. Now, I don't tell this to the general public because small town folks think this is very dangerous because of the infamous Craig's List murder of decades ago. [Time can move slowly in a small town.] They don't know that's not a dating site and they don't know how many of the men in their life are on real dating sites...single or not. And I won't tell! I can hardly wait to get home when I'm away and see what happened on my profile page. Gee, the budding writer will look anywhere for a good story!

To keep it fun you have to constantly change the main photo on the site...most men aren't readin'; they're lookin' and too egotistically blind to realize you're the same woman they wrote to yesterday with their cut and paste message, "Nice pic, Sweetheart, do you think we might have a future? Write me."  With a flick of the wrist, like a Rambo girl, I erase him.

Most guys ask immediately for my personal email, which of course, I do not send them...This week a guy asked, but I substituted my blog address, explaining that he might enjoy it and it didn't give away my personal info. He messaged back right away, "Your email address doesn't work; please send again," which I did. He messaged back right away, "Your email address doesn't work; please send again," which I did. He messaged back right away, "Your email address doesn't work; please send again," which I did. He never did get it! Gee...I guess he really liked my photo!!!

Well, moving on, other patterns begin to emerge...like the foreign guys who steal and post American men's photos (hugging daughters, riding golf carts with the grands, etc.) and attach good old American lingo to their messages like, "Hello lady, I notice you picture and am anxious meet you. Soon? We get along well, fast if you send email so we talk better. Right?"

Surprisingly, this year there were a few men from my small town. They did not respond to my hello, and I suspect they are married.

Come Jan 10, I'll miss these pleasantries and all the good laughs. I know I'm not supposed to, but during a slow moment in a courtroom break this week, I showed one of their photos to my friend, Wanda. Some of the photos are jewels....about 60% of men post photos with their big bellies (shirted or not) spreading from arm to arm in their worn recliners with taglines like, "I'm looking for ya; are you out there?" or  "I'm here on the porch just waiting." Here's another one...a tall guy with the camera, held arms length down in front of him, so his face is looking down at you and you have to look up at him as he appeals with, "Black, White or Hispanic"...gee, he'll take any woman! One of the guys who says he wants to meet me has this tag line, "Smart-ass liberal seeks funny girl."  I'm flattered.  

And then a nice guy says, encouragingly, "Not all the good ones are taken."  Well, I hope not.  

And here are some of my favorite names: "Thumper," "Old Dummy," "Shazam," "Daddyrat60," "96lover," "mywaynow," "punkanpecker."  What lady could resist?

Of course the Harley guys have the most macho photos...they could just pass around the same photo...Harley garb, brawny physique, booted foot slung up on bike seat, rebellious arms crossing chest as they cooly lean back against the handle bars with that, "Come hither, Baby," snarl across their faces...they're the most predictable of all. And they speak the same language, especially if they are 70+, "Hey Babe, I still 'got it;' can you still 'do it?'"

A few men are really nice, like yesterday I met a very handsome, distinguished looking 73 year old...our exchange was very short and courteous, and he closed, after many cautions about my safety, with, "Have fun, Kid." I like a man who can call me 'kid.'

So, if you're one of those old ladies who likes to sing that familiar song, "If I was single like you, I'd....," better tone it down...I doubt you have a clue. If you're a guy reading this, I hope you got a laugh or two...I'm sure you have funny stories to tell too.

This year I limited my search to within 100 miles, and the pickings are slim.  I'll perhaps not make it many more days before closing the account, but a few nice conversations and a lot of laughter might have been worth the 30 bucks....no calories either.

                                                                                                         December 20, 2015 

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[Actually, I've met 6 of my most wonderful male freinds on these sites...we're just mature friends who check in on each other from time to time. I'm thankful I can call them 'Friend.' 3 of them found wonderful wives and are very happily remarried. I would have only one local male friend without this effort. Please refrain from sending me cautions; I got the rules down. There are lots of good people out there just needing friendship.]

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